Our plane touched down in Raleigh without incident, which, as the OC will tell you, is highly unlikely. As the OC explained amidst rows of nervous passengers most planes crash on take-off, landing or while just flying along for no reason at all. Keep in mind that Cody normally speaks at a decibel level usually reserved for warning someone of a falling piano. We discussed at length the many different ways our flight could end in a smoldering, crispy mess. My favorite though was the extremely high odds of our plane being cut in half by another plane immediately before landing.
I did a short stretch of time in North Carolina back in the mid 90’s. Eddie, at this time, was probably still running around with a sippy cup although I suspect that sippy cup contained a mixture of whiskey, cough syrup and Benadryl. We come to NC to wage battle. We are few but we are mighty. Let me introduce you all to the players.
Eddie McDonald – Eddie is a 20-year-old English major with the liver of a 65-year-old long shoreman. He hails from the pleasant rolling hills of Marin County. There is nothing pleasant about Eddie though. Behind that boyish smile and those black-framed glasses is a deeply disturbed human being. More often than not Eddie awakens in the middle of the night to find himself not inhis bed but naked in the Red Rock petting zoo surrounded by feinting goats. Eddie claims this is because of a rare seizure disorder but I have my suspicions. Eddie will compete in the DH and dual slalom this weekend and will represent Nevada Cycling well.
Cody Smith – Often referred to as the OC, Cody actually was a long shoreman from New Hampshire. Before joining the Nevada Cycling team Cody bounced up and down the eastern seaboard looking for dock work and making ends meet by cleaning up in bare-knuckle boxing matches. He met a woman though and is now earning his bachelors degree in hydrogeology at the university. Cody brings to the team serious DH experience and a Boston accent which makes people move the f$ck out of the way when lining up.
Miles Kreidle – Miles is fairly new to the team but raised some serious eyebrows with a commanding DH performance at Parkfield. Not much is known about Miles and maybe that is for the best. This much is known though – he can rip and that’s good enough for me. Until we learn more about Miles though he will be renting his own condo or, at the most, sleeping on the porch of our condo. He can’t be trusted.
Scott Leland – What can be said that hasn’t already been said on countless forums, magazines and websites. Scott has returned to UNR to earn a master’s degree as a Nurse Practitioner. Scott will represent the endurance division of the juggernaut UNR cycling team. A little known fact about Scott is that he once won Collegiate National Mountain Bike championships. Well, not won outright in the sense that he came in first, but in the sense that we were all winners that day.On this trip Scott brings to the team a key component needed for our fiscally challenged team– the all important senior citizen discount.
Stay tuned for more updates from Banner Elk NC
4 comments:
Oh my god this post is sooo
f#$king funny!!!
I have a feeling that Eddie's sippy cup cocktail was one mixed by his parents. Cause even at that young of an age, he probably wouldn't shut the hell up.
OC on the plane sounds like every plane ride I have had with him. Scott, just wait until he starts getting agro thinking about all that homework on Monday morning, gets loaded at the airport bar, then learns from your stewardess that they don't serve peanuts because of allergies. The fit will hit the shan. And as the OC's disgust grows, the volume will increase, not decrease. I think his plane crashing thoughts get more morbid as well.
Oh yes, one way to calm Eddie down is to say you will do something for him then call 5 minutes beforehand and tell him you are going to be an hour late. That will calm him even if he has been listening to techno.
A mutual coworker at a bike shop once asked me if the OC ever gets drunk and talks really quiet. Haha, it's genetic, tho, he can't help it!
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