woooooooo!
I know the masses are simply jumping out of their seats waiting for this update, so I am half-
assing it!
We do half tons of photographic evidence of racing, but I do not have the ever so elusive cord necessary to connect my fancy pants camera to my comp-u-tron 5000.
Any hoo, here is a race report:
XC was started at the ungodly hour of 8 am. It was cold, and miserable. Luckily, there was a comfy hill next to the feed zone where napping was more than possible. Scott and Menso were Cuh-rushing it. As it is already known, Leland finished 17th, and menso 10th. Cal cycling as well as Stanford was racing, but since they chose not stay with the rest of the WCCC we did not care about them. All I do know is natish fell onto his grill, causing sever head trauma. Well that’s what he will tell you anyway, in actuality he bruised his cheeks a little, and had his head wrapped up like he was injured in the civil war.
The DH was a slip and slide at best. The first day, (Thursday to you not on vacation) the course was rather dry and hella fun. All that crap those north Carolinians said about gnarr was BS. It was 90% fast while the other 90% was technical. It was a blast. Friday was such $h!t show, that they canceled are seating runs, and created a start order from everyone’s norba rankings; IE, pros went first, then semi, then expert, then sport.... blah blah blah. We wanted to put LMC Cycling into a head lock. So we did what any freedom loving American would have done, we returned to our condo. The riders meeting we attended Friday evening was supposed to help the riders figure out ways to practice Saturday morning, but instead, shuttling was banned, and the lift was not going to be turned on until racing was to begin. Since we are crafty Nevadans, we hiked our lazy asses up the hill and rode the course, even with the threats of being banished from the race. Come race time, the mud was thicker than peanut butter, and made a relatively easy section of the course the most difficult, while the technical sections over rocks were the easiest. Cody was our top finishing DH rider, with a 36th place, while I received a disrespectable 39th, and miles 40th. For the record, I beat miles by 8 seconds. The fact that he could not pedal is null and void. My race run was awesome until about a 1/8th of the way down the course, where is shot over a catcher burm (or berm) and the end of a steep shoot and smashed into spectators. It’s a good thing I sell cross bikes, because what proceeded next was the raddest mount in the middle of a rock garden. Ever. After said incident, I managed to smash into multiple trees, and do terrible, but all was not lost because I smashed those people. Style points for sure. As said earlier, miles had issues with his drive chain and had to jump off and yank on his chain to get back into gear, only for it to slip off upon the next pedal stroke. Cody rocked the skin suit, but it was totally cursed, and he crashed all over the place too. Not good. He was also the only member of the team to beat all the girls, as Jed was so kind to point out to us via text message.
Short track was a war. Leland was lacking in the traction department, as he chose not to run his new mud tires...zee speed kings. The mud was so thick, and Leland so strong, that he was spinning out while trying to pedal down the hill. The Arnold voice was simply to over powering for him, as we screamed in our best Arnold and or hanns voice every time he passed. Because the field was so large, and the traction was so shotty, Scotty 2 Hotty was pulled about half way through the race, meaning all that Nevada had left to do was laugh at the other clowns who were suffering the wrath of the short track. And it was good.
Slalom. Yet another junk show. People in college are supposed to be smart, yet for some reason they did not put ribbon up at the finish area, making it difficult for riders to see which side to cross. Luckily, though, they only screwed the first 25 riders before realizing the ribbon was necessary. This led to the angriest people from Colorado any human being has ever seen. With the threats of violence, LMC was forced to let the first 25 of us go again. This was extremely lucky for me, because I kept my theme of smashing into hay bails very much alive. Cody, I, and miles each re ran our runs, but we were just out of the qualifying bracket tenths of a second. I finished 34th (in the nation), Cody 35th (in the nation), and miles received another 40th (which makes him 80th in the nation). We stuck around to watch some of the racing, but we were all so beat, and the crowd was too serious for good cheering. Only one tool with a megaphone and inside jokes was making noise.
Over all, it twas a wonderful experience, and we had a pretty good time. Only one window was broken, and it wasn’t our fault. The police were also completely avoided, as the masters of disguises were present. They are probably still looking for that jerk with the glasses and the mooostash. Regardless of the poopy racing on the gravity side, we are stoked the Scott crushed it in the XC, and look forward to next year.
- Edward Joseph McDonald
I know the masses are simply jumping out of their seats waiting for this update, so I am half-
assing it!
We do half tons of photographic evidence of racing, but I do not have the ever so elusive cord necessary to connect my fancy pants camera to my comp-u-tron 5000.
Any hoo, here is a race report:
XC was started at the ungodly hour of 8 am. It was cold, and miserable. Luckily, there was a comfy hill next to the feed zone where napping was more than possible. Scott and Menso were Cuh-rushing it. As it is already known, Leland finished 17th, and menso 10th. Cal cycling as well as Stanford was racing, but since they chose not stay with the rest of the WCCC we did not care about them. All I do know is natish fell onto his grill, causing sever head trauma. Well that’s what he will tell you anyway, in actuality he bruised his cheeks a little, and had his head wrapped up like he was injured in the civil war.
The DH was a slip and slide at best. The first day, (Thursday to you not on vacation) the course was rather dry and hella fun. All that crap those north Carolinians said about gnarr was BS. It was 90% fast while the other 90% was technical. It was a blast. Friday was such $h!t show, that they canceled are seating runs, and created a start order from everyone’s norba rankings; IE, pros went first, then semi, then expert, then sport.... blah blah blah. We wanted to put LMC Cycling into a head lock. So we did what any freedom loving American would have done, we returned to our condo. The riders meeting we attended Friday evening was supposed to help the riders figure out ways to practice Saturday morning, but instead, shuttling was banned, and the lift was not going to be turned on until racing was to begin. Since we are crafty Nevadans, we hiked our lazy asses up the hill and rode the course, even with the threats of being banished from the race. Come race time, the mud was thicker than peanut butter, and made a relatively easy section of the course the most difficult, while the technical sections over rocks were the easiest. Cody was our top finishing DH rider, with a 36th place, while I received a disrespectable 39th, and miles 40th. For the record, I beat miles by 8 seconds. The fact that he could not pedal is null and void. My race run was awesome until about a 1/8th of the way down the course, where is shot over a catcher burm (or berm) and the end of a steep shoot and smashed into spectators. It’s a good thing I sell cross bikes, because what proceeded next was the raddest mount in the middle of a rock garden. Ever. After said incident, I managed to smash into multiple trees, and do terrible, but all was not lost because I smashed those people. Style points for sure. As said earlier, miles had issues with his drive chain and had to jump off and yank on his chain to get back into gear, only for it to slip off upon the next pedal stroke. Cody rocked the skin suit, but it was totally cursed, and he crashed all over the place too. Not good. He was also the only member of the team to beat all the girls, as Jed was so kind to point out to us via text message.
Short track was a war. Leland was lacking in the traction department, as he chose not to run his new mud tires...zee speed kings. The mud was so thick, and Leland so strong, that he was spinning out while trying to pedal down the hill. The Arnold voice was simply to over powering for him, as we screamed in our best Arnold and or hanns voice every time he passed. Because the field was so large, and the traction was so shotty, Scotty 2 Hotty was pulled about half way through the race, meaning all that Nevada had left to do was laugh at the other clowns who were suffering the wrath of the short track. And it was good.
Slalom. Yet another junk show. People in college are supposed to be smart, yet for some reason they did not put ribbon up at the finish area, making it difficult for riders to see which side to cross. Luckily, though, they only screwed the first 25 riders before realizing the ribbon was necessary. This led to the angriest people from Colorado any human being has ever seen. With the threats of violence, LMC was forced to let the first 25 of us go again. This was extremely lucky for me, because I kept my theme of smashing into hay bails very much alive. Cody, I, and miles each re ran our runs, but we were just out of the qualifying bracket tenths of a second. I finished 34th (in the nation), Cody 35th (in the nation), and miles received another 40th (which makes him 80th in the nation). We stuck around to watch some of the racing, but we were all so beat, and the crowd was too serious for good cheering. Only one tool with a megaphone and inside jokes was making noise.
Over all, it twas a wonderful experience, and we had a pretty good time. Only one window was broken, and it wasn’t our fault. The police were also completely avoided, as the masters of disguises were present. They are probably still looking for that jerk with the glasses and the mooostash. Regardless of the poopy racing on the gravity side, we are stoked the Scott crushed it in the XC, and look forward to next year.
- Edward Joseph McDonald
Scotty 2 Hotty will be providing the photographic as well as videotronic evidence of our presence in the southeast, the land of camoflauged busch beers, nascar, and elkaholics.
and here it is!
Eddie crushing the DH
Miles Cruising the DH sans chain
Cody Smith Dh run
2 comments:
Do you think I'm a bad "skin-suit" influence? I do have 6 of them. I can't believe the OC could fit the skinsuit on over his body armor . . .
that skin suit is now a septupple extra large
thats right. 7x.
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